The Intimacy Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex carries tremendous meaning and effects.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the chance to make love with somebody we are brought in to very tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that click here to find out more makes us feel very near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to powerful sensations of attraction, enjoyment, love, wellness, and closeness .

When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They most likely wouldn't confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, says that numerous of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in city locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to explain that chemistry is important. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off here and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your have a peek at this site heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, objectives, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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