The Sensuality Deception, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings tremendous meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be excellent also).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state useful link of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the chance to make love with somebody we are drawn in to extremely tough to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to effective sensations of attraction, enjoyment, love, nearness, and well-being .

But when issues develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is terrific!" They probably wouldn't confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly over here with gay guys, says that a number of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in cosmopolitan locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is important. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means combining chemistry with common sense. While good sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, goals, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!

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