The Sensuality Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings immense meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be good too).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the chance to make love with someone we are attracted to incredibly difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to effective sensations of destination, excitement, wellness, closeness, and love .

But when problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is terrific!" They probably wouldn't confess it, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, states that a lot of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in metropolitan areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't more information going to be great?".

North adds, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it investigate this site can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with typical sense. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, values, and goals -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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