The Sensuality Trap, Balancing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs translate great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex carries tremendous meaning and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent also).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the chance to make love with someone we are attracted to exceptionally hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , leading to powerful feelings of destination, excitement, nearness, love, and well-being .

But when issues emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They more than likely would not confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, states that a Read Full Article number of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in cosmopolitan locations, sex is easily offered, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, encourages sex. Many gay males wish to discover from the starting if a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

North includes, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship my site failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with typical sense. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, values, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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