The Sex Catch, Stabilizing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings immense significance and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready too).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other person may be a match on levels besides physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the opportunity to have sex with someone we are drawn in to very difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel really near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and uncontrolled , causing effective sensations of attraction, enjoyment, closeness, love, and wellness .

When issues emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, says that a number of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in cosmopolitan areas, sex is easily offered, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, encourages sexual activity. If a useful source possible partner is going to be sexually compatible, lots of gay men desire to find out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

However, North adds, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or More Help not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, goals, and values -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Sex Catch, Stabilizing Hormones and the Cranium”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar