The Sexuality Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs analyze great sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, making love brings enormous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be excellent too).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are drawn in to exceptionally difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , causing powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, nearness, love, and wellness .

But when problems emerge, visit homepage those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is excellent!" They most likely would not admit it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, says that a number of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in cities, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, encourages sexual activity. If a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable, numerous gay guys desire to find out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

However, North adds, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out read here that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a click now relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with good sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, worths, and goals -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!

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